What if the Family is not on Board? Plus a bit of a Rant…

I have a confession to make, I’ve been feeling a little frustrated lately. There have been several online conversations lately that have me questioning our real food journey and if it’s ‘good enough’. 

You see, while we do strive for a real food diet we do not eat 100% real food. We are about 85% real food and the other 15% we don’t worry too much about.

I’ve also shared several times that while we buy what we can from our local farmers and ranchers we fill in the gaps from chain grocery stores and even (gasp) Wal*mart.

I’ve also shared that we do eat out and our dining out options are certainly not real food, we just do the best we can on those occasions and enjoy the experience.

 

What I haven’t shared as often is the occasional rebellion experienced in our real food journey. A prime example is the recent birthday we had. Kiki turned 17.  One of our ‘rules’ for birthdays has always been the birthday person makes the menu for the day (they are also excused from all chores on that day– yep, pretty kind of me to offer a day off one time per year).  This has been our tradition since before real food ever came into our lives.

We’ve been on this real food journey for over 3 years now and as of yet, not one birthday person has  made an entirely real food menu on that day.  Myself included.  Kiki actually asked to go to McDonald’s for her birthday dinner. Yep, she really did.

I have to admit, this never really bothered me too much until lately. Lately I’ve noticed a huge trend (on the internet) that if someone says they follow a real/whole/traditional food diet but doesn’t follow it just right  that person’s opinion is immediately dismissed and often verbally assaulted.

It seems that if we don’t purchase every morsel of our food only from local farmers we are somehow not ‘worthy’ of being a real food fan. And FORGET IT if you have ever darkened the doors of a fast food restaurant!

I find this attitude to be very frustrating. While I’d like to believe that this is presented with only good intentions of what we ‘should do’ I have to wonder how many people are completely turned away from real food (and its benefits) because they feel they could never live up to the standards being set? I find that to be incredibly sad!

 

And what about people like my family? While we do fairly well with the food brought into the home, I know that my family is not 100% on board with this entire thing.  Don’t get me wrong, my husband is with me in this journey and we made a decision that most of the food that comes into this house would fall under our real food rules.  And Christopher age 3 doesn’t really have an opinion yet (to be honest he doesn’t know any different since we started this when he was just a few weeks old) but my girls are old enough to have opinions. My two oldest don’t live at home (ages 23 and 21) any longer. They did each live here for a few months (at different times) while we have been on this journey but never embraced it.  Kiki and Lulu (ages 17 and 15) have been a part of this journey from the beginning.

Kiki and Lulu are not completely on board with this real food journey.  They do eat the food that is served but I do sometimes  ‘hear’ about it.  At their age they are involved in different activities that sometimes involves food or going out.   Lulu especially will make comments about how she wishes she was like ‘everyone else’ and didn’t have to eat such weird food.

I have to admit as a mom who wants the best for her children (what mom doesn’t?) and since I happen to think one great way to have a good quality of life is by eating high quality foods, it is sad to know that my child doesn’t agree.   And as a real food blogger, it’s hard to admit that not everything is all sunshine and roses in the real food arena.

But the truth is, at 17 Kiki is very near adulthood.  She needs to be learning how to make her own decisions in all areas and that includes the food she nourishes (or doesn’t nourish) her body with.  Lulu, while younger, also needs to be able to learn to make responsible decisions.

I’m learning to let go more. It is not easy for me since I am the type of person who likes to fix everything (can you relate to that?).  We still talk quite a bit about food and nutrition especially while doing our kitchen work.  And the basic food brought into the house each week falls under our 85% goal.  The other decisions that the girls encounter for food are left to them.  Yes, I could put my foot down and say “you will never eat at McDonald’s” but then that may lead to ‘sneaking around’ and not telling me about McDonald’s. If they feel the need to sneak around and not share their food choices with me, what other choices might they make and not share with me? I shudder to think.

As for Kiki’s desire to go to McDonald’s… she changed her mind and decided to go to a new burger place in town that serves Wyoming beef.   For her birthday cake she wanted a cookie cake from a chain store (boy, I could write a whole post about that cake and the turmoil it caused!).  We’ll actually be having a second birthday celebration over the weekend with the rest of the family. I’m wondering what food choices that will bring. But the truth is, whatever they are that is fine.  I would rather enjoy my family in a McDonald’s than not have a family to enjoy!

Something else to mention we do not have any food allergies or severe illnesses. But even if we did, Kiki and Lulu would need to take some responsibility for managing those things on their own as part of ‘growing up’.  It’s also important to note that I’m not offering any sort of parenting advice. Instead just sharing what we are trying to do and how frustrating this can be for me.

What if it wasn’t my girls rebelling but my husband? That would present a whole different range of things to look at. If that was the case I can honestly say we would not be 85% real food. I wouldn’t want to go against my husbands wishes so our process would be very slow and deliberate. When I first read about real/whole/traditional foods and shared the information with Joe he thought it sounded good. He liked the idea of eating foods closer to the way God made them. But he didn’t like the idea of having to increase our tiny food budget (we didn’t have that option).  The deal was we could ‘do real foods’ but only if we stayed on our current food budget.  Every change we made was slow and deliberate to keep our budget in check and to keep from becoming overwhelmed.  There have been things that came up in this real food journey that we don’t agree on so those changes are usually not made.

If you are new to real foods or just considering how this could possibly work for your family keep in mind that this is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor. Where you live, your food budget, your daily schedule and your family all play a part in how real food works for you.  Don’t think you can ‘do’ real food the way you’ve seen others ‘do it’.  No problem! Do it your way. Make changes that work for your family.  One change at a time over the course of several years if necessary.  

 

I have come to the conclusion that while our family’s food journey may not live up to the standards set by others, that is just fine. Those people don’t live here. They don’t pay for the food.  Whatever works in their food journey, for their family, is great.  But my family will continue on this real food journey in a way that makes sense for us.

 

Is your family on board with your real food efforts? What struggles have you encountered and how do you work through them?  Or do you ever just feel overwhelmed with everything you are ‘supposed’ to do or not do in the area of food?  Go ahead and rant if you need to. It helped me!

 

PS– If you have food allergies or medical reasons for needing to adhere to a specific way of eating, that is a different story than what my family is experiencing. I just thought I’d make that clear. You need to do what is best for your health and your family.

Millie

Comments

  1. Traci Reineke

    WOW!!!!!!!! Soooooooo loved this post!! I am sooooo following your blog!!! This is EXACTLY my home. I strive for real food, and while not much packaged food darkens the door of my house, I just got finished making tradional breakfast pancakes before sending my child off to school. Pancakes, frosting….. like a birthday cake, you get the idea. In the past this meant bisquick pancakes and tub frosting. But today it means from scratch pancakes (I pulled out the white flour just for him), and homemade frosting (powdered suger, milk, butter, and egad… food colouring)…… Perfect? Far from it…. but I could (mostly) pronounce all the ingedients in the breakfast I sent him off to school with…..
    Thanks for letting me share!

    1. Post
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      Millie

      Hi Traci,

      Thanks! I feel homemade is a huge improvement over so many other options. And it’s certainly a bonus when you can pronounce the ingredients. 🙂 While we do strive for that 85% goal of real/whole/traditional foods if we have a day that we don’t make it, I don’t stress about it. Tomorrow is a new day.

  2. Crystal

    Great post! I can relate to though in the begining my husband would argue with me about the slight rise in the buget for food but like you I do the best I can with the meats , milk, and eggs come from local farmer but while I refuse to buy soda ,chips, and cookies he does and brings them into the house and the kids choose them over what I make. I’m hoping in time that will diminish. Glad to know I’m not the only one struggling.

    1. Post
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      Millie

      Hi Crystal,
      Trust me, you are not the only one. Soda, chips and cookies sometimes come to our house also, not as often any longer but they still do. My daughter just came home munching on a pizza. Apparently it was ‘free food’ day at school…

  3. Traci Murphy Reineke

    Ok, next question. Can you direct me to some good, no nonsense info that I could go to my hubby with about real food. I read that you shared it with your husband. I’ve talked about it, and tried, and he kinda gets it, but he’s very technical, and I’m, well, not! LOL
    He sound like your husband was. He’s all for it, as long as it doesn’t increase our food budget. (too much)

    1. Post
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      Millie

      Traci,
      Have you visited the Weston A. Price website (westonaprice.org)? There are very good articles on it. You can do a search by topic if there is something specific you wish to learn about. This past winter I re-read the book that Dr. Price wrote and shared lots of it with my husband. That made a huge impact on him. I had a ‘book club’ on here and shared as I went through the book. http://homespunoasis.com/category/books/book-club/

  4. Rachel

    I can relate for sure. I don’t like ring a nazi about any issue and food is so personal for people. I just educate educate educate with my kids and even my hubby to get the message of real food across and why it is so important to nourish our bodies. I’ve had no resistance that I wouldn’t have had anyway since we’ve always eaten lots of veggies and those are what my kids fuss about the most. Coming from a vegetarian diet to traditional food 2 years ago, everyone was just happy to be eating meat again!

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      Millie

      Rachel,
      You are so right about food being personal. Many of our social events are centered around food. Meat is good! 🙂

  5. Amanda

    There are some food bloggers and others that are in what I like to call food misery. They are consumed by it and try to suck everyone in. I can understand having a real passion for something but I can’t condone letting that get in the way of who you are and defining yourself by it.

    I had someone once tell me (a stranger on the internet!) that I was just making excuses by saying I can’t afford pastured eggs and raw milk every week. This person had the audacity to tell me that I should be sacrificing more, obviously duh, and insinuated that I was a bad parent for feeding my family sub-par food. LOL! Good thing I found the humor in that.

    You do the best you can is all and show the naysayers a smug grin.

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      Millie

      WOW Amanda! I guess the anonymity of the internet gives people free rein. Glad you found humor in it.

  6. Cathy

    I think you are doing a good job. I know that since starting a kinda real food journey both my husband and I are feeling better. Each step is slow, and as a comment I got from my other half yesterday, “what do you need a new cookie sheet for, since we don’t have cookies here anymore?” Hmmm, but then he admitted to feeling better without a lot of refined products. We have not gone totally organic on vegetables and fruits, but now eat tons of veggies and fruits, instead of bread and sweets. Yes it is a journey, but in the end, one well worth it. Other peoples opinions, are just that an opinion. Those in our own family are the only ones that can judge how and what we eat, because they have to eat it. It is interesting the way others come along in our journey. Someday your girls will realize that you were trying to only do what is healthy and better for them. Hope that day comes soon.

    1. Post
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      Millie

      Hi Cathy,
      I know that you are working hard not only to get more fruits and veggies for you and your husband but also for your entire community. That is awesome! I think that making slow steps may be better in the long run since they may actually ‘stick’. I do have a couple of cookie recipes if you ever need one 😉

  7. Lee Anne

    The internet is such a double-edged sword, isn’t it? While there’s a wealth of information, and it’s such a great tool for communicating and sharing, it also empowers idiots to burden others with their own failures, and empowers cowards to “say” rude and hurtful things that they would never say if they were close enough for you to smack them. 🙂

    As far as family goes, my greatest recent food victories have been that one DS chose a different fast food restaurant when it was DH’s “turn to cook” because he didn’t want to eat “pink slime”. DH got a hankering for fish, and brought home cod from Walmart because it was the only thing under $20 a pound that didn’t say “farmed” anywhere on the label. So yes, even though they aren’t totally on board, they are listening, and things are getting through to them.

    As far as perfection goes, I think it’s important for us all to realize that the basic reason that we strive for healthier food choices is to provide our bodies with the fuel, building blocks, and protection to LIVE LIFE MORE FULLY. When your goals or your journey, whether it’s real food or anything else are keeping your from living your life, then it’s time to reconsider your approach.

    1. Post
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      Millie

      Lee Anne,

      You are funny 🙂

      I would consider the change in the fast food restaurant a huge step!

  8. Claudia (Lacey)

    I loved this post. I am very new to trying to eat right and it has been SO overwhelming trying to figure out how to do this. I’m so happy to read that, even though you have been endeavering to eat ‘right’ for 3 years, you still aren’t perfect.

    My family is grown and out on their own, so it is only me and my boyfriend. He used to be a small farmer years ago, and I believe he raised his food the traditional way because it is what he was taught, so we often have disagreements about the food I want to buy. He thinks all the things that I have been reading about the meat and produce we can get in the retail store is a bunch of bunk. When I tell him I want organic produce, he always rolls his eyes and mumbles about it being such a scam to get more money for the food. Sometimes the frustration is overwhelming! My biggest problem is that we live in the mountains and our local store doesn’t carry anything organic. So we have to travel down to the valley to buy the good stuff. We always make this journey together because we will take care of several chores while we are down there, so that means he shops with me. (Also, I’m handicapped and need him to carry the groceries) As you can imagine, grocery shopping is not my favorite time of the day. LOL But he IS in favor of raw milk and doesn’t argue about raw butter. And I will throw in a $20 chicken without much resistance. The meat is a different story. He freaks at the prices. When we can, we will buy meat from a local guy who raises his own, but I am not sure what he feeds them and my boyfriend won’t ask him. I guess I understand why. A woman he works with raised a pig and recently slaughtered it. I asked her if I could have the fat to make lard. She was ok with that, but when I asked her if it was grass fed or penned, she sort of brissled and said it was raised in a pen and fed pig food. Ooops…sorry I asked. I never did get the fat. 🙁 So I guess people are a little touchy when you ask them questions.

    I have been fermenting veggies and making kefir for a while now. My boyfriend HAS started eating some of these foods, so I think things may be improving. He tries to drink kefir every day and loves the kombucha! That makes me so happy. And every time he tells me my ideas about the quality of the food we buy are crazy, I tell him that I am the one reading and learning about all this stuff and just maybe there are a few things he could learn, also. LOL

    Ok…bet you are so sorry you said ‘go ahead and rant’! LOL

    I so admire all the young people who are working at feeding and teaching their families about the importance of real food. I wish I had known half this stuff when I was raising my family! I’m certain all my health problems are a direct result of my very very poor diet. I’m no way near even 50% yet, but I figure adding a little at a time will eventually get me there. So I will keep on trucking. Thanks for letting me vent. 🙂

    1. Post
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      Millie

      Hi Claudia,

      I welcome your vent!

      I think it is awesome that your boyfriend loves kombucha. A think making changes a little at a time is great. And I know for me, every small change that my family was receptive to spurred me on a little more. The first time I made kombucha and my now 15 year old said it was good, I did a happy dance!

  9. Vickilynn Haycraft

    Hi Millie,

    I loved your post and yes, your rant. I have shared it for many years. I have cried in frustration because my family’s choices did not live up to others’ food purity standards. And then, I came to the conclusion, like you, that my family was MY family, not someone else’s and what we did, we choose to do. We don’t tell anyone else to eat what we eat, or avoid what we avoid. We simply share what we’ve learned along the way.

    When I read some of the posts by some bloggers, I glean the wheat and discard the chaff. Perhaps, I shouldn’t have said “wheat” because some people consider that a dirty word, but I mean it in all senses.

    Again, thank you for your insightful and courageous post and prayers for your household to continue doing what’s best for YOU all.

    Vickilynn

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  10. Erin Darling

    This is a fantastic post, Millie! I think most of us are with you on doing the best we all can, but boy howdy, there sure are a few folks out there who will gladly whip us through the streets if we step off The Path.

    I think some of it is their own insecurities that they’re not doing well enough, and for others, they’re so utterly obsessed with doing it The One True Right Way (as if there is such a thing,) they forget there are more important things in life for some of us.

    The more we tell people it’s ok to go at their own pace, the more people will be willing to try, and to keep trying if they fail.

    Community *support* is so important!

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      Millie

      Erin,

      Community support is! In real life I’m meeting more and more people on this real food journey and that has been wonderful. Plus the people that I meet here and through other social networks is great. I think we should start a club. The only membership requirement is ‘you don’t have to be perfect to join’.

  11. Kathy (aka Mrs Dull)

    Millie I’m really enjoying your site tonight! I’m so glad I’ve had a little time to look around 🙂 I agree with you on the need for flexibility and compromise particularly when first starting out with real foods. Each of us knows our life situation best and sometimes compromises must be made. We’re the only ones who can determine if and where they are needed. I’ve got quite a few compromises I’m working with right now to see if I can bump it up a notch. It’s a process and we none of us ever get it perfect.

    1. Post
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      Millie

      Thank you Kathy! I’m glad you had time to look around also. 🙂
      It certainly is a process. And even with my minor frustrations I do enjoy the journey. Especially the people I am meeting on this journey.

  12. Kirstin

    It is so refreshing to read a post where the entire family isn’t fully on board with real food eating. I am new to the whole food/real food stuff. I was given a copy of Nourishing Traditions for Christmas and I have been really enjoying. I have been making some baby steps in changing what we eat. I have started to make my own water kefir and komboucha. There are several different things I would like to try but sadly we have no access to raw milk in the area. My toddler loves the water kefir and the boocha but my husband is stuck firmly in the “food tastes best when it comes from the grocery store.”

    I know this has a lot to do with his upbringing, his mom was raised very poor and never learned how to cook. She was given a campbells cookbook when she got married and pretty made everything he ate growing up out of this cook book. I have been slowly trying to add new things into our diet some are received well and some aren’t but we are learning as we go. I keep hoping that at some point he will come around. He slowly is, we don’t eat much process sugar any more and he doesn’t freak out when the bread to go with his lasagna is brown rather than white! Right now I am celebrating the small victories.

    1. Post
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      Millie

      Hi Kristin,

      Those are some great steps that you have made since Christmas! How fun that your little one likes the kefir and boocha. My little guy says that kombucha ‘tickles his nose’. I’d be doing the same as you and celebrating the small victories. When we first started this and I decided to start making our own bread it was made with unbleached flour and yeast. The next time I made it I used 3/4 unbleached flour and 1/4 whole wheat. I just kept increasing the ratio of the wheat until, eventually, it was all whole wheat. After we were comfortable with that I started making sourdough. That was probably 4 or 5 months after I first started on the bread. That worked well for us and resulted in no one really noticing the difference. However, we do still sometimes have homemade yeast bread (just whole wheat) now. My children think it is a huge treat. And sometimes we even buy bread from the bakery! I know, for shame… 😉

  13. christy

    I really enjoyed this post. We are just learning about healthier otions in life, but not being consumed by it. I believe that if you say you can not have something, the desire for it becomes overwelming. We allow cheat items, like some diet plans would say. Eat strictly for 6 days and cheat on the 7th. Except we don’t have a strict plan yet. I am looking for some good recipes, we are experiencing a lot of not so tasty meals. So, then my husband brings in all of the things that I do not bring into the home. Colas and packaged items full of sugar :/ that cause the youngest family member to get very hyper. So we definitely are not all on board as of yet. I talk with them about the benfits of healthy choices, and I include them in which recipes to try and we make them together and of course everyone taste tests and gives their opinion.Then we keep a copy of the ones we all like for uture use. I am also working on themed menu planning. Meatless Mondays, Taco Tuesdays (which we all love the vegetable quesadillas!), leftovers n Wednesdays, need a theme for thursdays, Fridays is more of our cheat day (its family night), seafood Saturday and crockpot sunday… I do prefer to make it myself. So I have started baking bread and we make fresh tortillas too. Any helpful tips would be appreciated!

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      Millie

      Hi Christy,

      Thanks for sharing what is working for you. I love that you are including the entire family in your journey. One thing that I do remember from when we started to make more foods from scratch was the difference in taste. We were so used to highly processed, artificially seasoned foods that the real foods tasted ‘different’. I found that using extra seasonings was necessary. Good quality sea salt can really make a dish. Have you visited GNOWFGLINS.com? Wardeh makes very down home meals and we love almost all of her recipes. I have a recipe page on here that is a work in progress but does have quite a bit on it. I make alot of bean and game recipes.

  14. elena

    Oh how I adore you! :o) Your rant was actually EXACTLY what I was thinking this morning! I have one very wonderful hubby and eight very different children,…..hence, we eat as REAL as this family can and I’m tired of feeling guilty that it is not a flawless journey. So, there. I too do what is best for my family and each day, try to make things better than the day before,…..BUT food will NOT be my idol.
    Thank you for your post!!!

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      Millie

      Hi Elena,

      Thank you! I admit, there have been times where I bordered on being obsessed with food and possibly making it my idol. I was miserable! My family was miserable. Relaxing more has been much better for all of us.

  15. Dona

    I agree with everyone who has posted in regards to your “rant”. When I first started real food, whole food I had a lady ask me why I was playing around with a new diet. I didn’t reply, because I would have said something I shouldn’t have. I told my husband, this is hard work, I’m not playing around. It is just my husband and I as our sons are grown. When the grandkids come, I have a hard time feeding them (ages 3 and 1) as they are extremely picky eaters. So I have to give in to them but keep my husband’s and my diet with real food. I don’t think if anyone really told the truth, that they stay 100% with real food. I agree with tomorrow is a new day, start again, do today what you can and except that!!! It does cost more to eat real food. I can’t always buy organic, so when I don’t, I take special attention to washing the produce. It does seem that I fix the same things over and over. I’m not sure if that is because we really like them, or if it is due to the amount of time it takes to make new food and sometimes the cost. I only get to town once in about 10 days. I go with a long list of items I want, then have to pick and choose due to cost. I wouldn’t change a thing with this food adventure other than wishing I had started it years ago!!! I hope this makes sense, I feel as though I rambled. 🙂

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      Millie

      Hi Dona,

      I fix the same things often also, or at least a variation of the same things. After reading Nutrition and Physical Degeneration again and really paying attention to it I don’t feel so bad about the lack of variety. Many of the people talked about in the book didn’t have a varied diet for at least part of the year. Plus, it is easier. Not having to be ‘creative’ saves me some time (and money). I do try to do something special every once in a while but it is not the norm.

      You made perfect sense. Sometimes it is nice to ramble a bit. 🙂

  16. Lisa

    You are doing better than we are we are probably 80/20% here. I allow my kids to eat school lunch 1 day a week (I know – gasp), usually on pizza day. Not everything is organic and sometimes we eat vegan and sometimes we eat grass fed beef. With food prices what they are we do our best to improve our diet and not waste what we do buy. I am not perfect. I do understand the flack you get though. I don’t seem to fit into any one mold, we are not Weston Price, nor paleo, nor completely gluten free or grain free. I know crazy right. So what are we, we eat real food most of the time, food I prepare at home. We eat out occasionally, birthday’s, special occasions.

    I say keep up the good work!

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      Millie

      Hi Lisa,

      Cutting down on waste has been a huge thing for us to stretch our food dollars. And like you, I figure food prepared at home is great no matter what label is attached to it.

  17. Robert McKinney

    Great article. You have actually swerved into something that I have dealt with for years but not about real food.

    It seems ever present that many things whether they be an ideology or way of thinking (insert religion or political bent here), quickly become religious like and if you don’t walk lockstep you are shunned or ridiculed.

    How about we accept the differences and allow people the freedom to make their own choices about life?

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  18. Becca

    This is so close to my heart. We started our real food journey last year, in November. It was a complete paradigm shift. I was standing at the pharmacy counter looking down at the stack of bottles : ADD, Depression, JRA for my teen; ADD, Depression and anxiety for me; and I had a six year old at home that was getting special services for Aspergers. I just shook my head and said “no more” I detoxed the whole family from additives and preservatives. It was very difficult for me, the meds they had me on for “bipolar disorder” clouded and confused my thinking, so the most I could do was switch most of my shopping to Trader Joe’s and hope for the best. Almost immediately we saw the aspie symptoms in my youngest begin to disappear. Today he is almost 90% recovered. I slowly began to heal and think clearly and have been able to shop more productively and efficiently. We have started a garden and I am learning food preservation so I have as much control as I can over what comes in the door. We are not 100% and I am not a zealot, we occasionally go out or I will serve a trader Joe’s frozen pizza ;). But I had done so much damage to my digestive system that I am really too sensitive to stray off the “real food” track very far. The best news is that since I have removed the allergens and/or toxins I have completely ceased getting migraines( for me the trigger is gluten and MSG) and I have been off pharmaceuticals since February first. (This is NOT medical advice for anyone else. I made that decision with, and continue have medical supervision regarding my bipolar) This is not an easy thing to do, my health insurance will pay 100.00’s of dollars a month to keep me on meds but won’t cover 75.00 to see a Naturopath. I have had to do most of my research myself. 🙂 My teenager with JRA wants to be well, but also wants to be “normal” I occasionally pretend I don’t see Gatorade bottles or Taco Bell wrappers. As it was mentioned, I would rather have him close to me that demand he conform. If I continue to teach him, he will learn what he needs to make his own decisions. In contrast, he is also very proud of the changes our family has made. Last week we were at a school picnic fundraiser, as I said, I am not above giving a little. They were serving hot dogs and chips, I was just going to go with it. Then my beautiful boy announced to several teachers and any one else in earshot that his “Mom had changed her life by going Vegan” (which I am not) Well, so much for the hot dog; I guess. When real life collides with real food. Thanks for sharing and for having a place I can share my story. -becca

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  19. Reagen D. (

    Wow! I can totally relate! Been there, done that, still sometimes have to do it! I’ve tried changing our diets to real, whole foods more than once but because my husband wasn’t on board, nothing stuck. BUT I found a GREAT WAPF member nutritionist and my husband FINALLY got on board with it. Since we started in February, he’s been taken off one of his diabetes meds, has had one of his heart meds reduced and we’ve both lost about 25 pounds! The kids (all boys, ages 16, 8 soon to be 9, and 5 1/2) still tend to whine but they will eventually eat what is put in front of them. 🙂

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      Millie

      Reagen,

      That is wonderful about your husband! Nice to lose weight also. Who’d ever thought that you could lose weight just by eating real food? 🙂

  20. angie h

    I love this post! I am brand new to the real food journey. My husband is on board with everything. (Right now I am trying to convince him and MYSELF to do FCLO, the thought makes me gag). I’m slowly making changes and doing research. I can’t afford to just throw everything out. I’m replacing as I go through stuff. I follow the EWG dirty dozen list for purchasing produce and I am trying to eliminate gmos/hfcs from our diets as much as possible. I’ve located a great source for local, grass fed beef but I can’t get it until July. I have also found raw dairy from the same farm-I am trying to bite the bullet and go for it. I am convinced of the health benefits of raw dairy but I still harbor some of the fears about pasteurization. And the price of raw butter kills me! I have been buying local, non-hom/full fat, lowest legal temp pasteurization milk and my husband seems to be taking to that very well (although he says it is like drinking oil b/c it is so thick lol). I go through more milk now than I ever did with 2% grocery store, uht milk!!

    His biggest complaint-real butter is always hard. We have a really cold kitchen and it virtually never gets spreadable. I plan on buying a butter bell and seeing if that helps.

    I love your rant b/c even though I want to feed my family like this at home, I never want it to hurt/offend others. I read how people are so snotty with family and friends and I refuse to turn my nose up at family functions and eating out/being on vacation. If we are eating this way at home which makes up 85 to 90% of the time, I don’t think dinner at grandma’s here and there or at a restaurant will ruin all of our progress. Obviously, if food allergies/sensitivities were an issue that would be a whole different situation. I will be strict when I have little ones during the first few years and I may annoy my family in regards to my babies and what they eat but that will taper off the older they get. Plus, I think being critical and having a “greater than thou” attitude shuts people down. I would love to educate family and friends, but being judgy will inhibit them from even being open to it.

    My question is how does someone who works full time accomplish all of this? I work full time and don’t see that changing. I want to do kefir and bake our own bread…and a host of other things I’ve been reading about…how does one manage their time? What is the best order to put changes into place/what are the most critical changes to make?

    1. Post
      Author
      Millie

      Angie,

      That’s what we did was replace things as we ran out. That worked very well for us. I did do temp work while cooking real food. I shared a guest post on the GNOWFGLINS blog how that worked for us http://gnowfglins.com/2010/12/03/real-food-fast-tips-for-working-moms/ plus on here October and November of 2010. Also at the beginning of this year I did a one week experience on working outside the home (as part of a series I’m doing) http://homespunoasis.com/category/someone-elses-shoes/working-full-time-and-real-foods/. And just today KerryAnn at Cooking TF put up a post that addresses working and traditional foods http://www.cookingtf.com/cant-keep-up-three-ways-to-simplify-your-dinner-routine/. Maybe these posts will help you.

      The best order to put changes in place… that is a great question! For us we decided to concentrate on our fats and proteins along with eliminating some ‘junky’ type things. From what you wrote it sounds like that is what you are also doing. Making kefir and baking bread are great things too but I know for me, I could only add in one thing at a time for fear of my head spinning off. Once I was comfortable with that thing then I’d add something else. Part of the reason it has taken us three years just to get to where we are.

  21. Deb

    Millie, we are soul sisters…. or living in a paralell universe! Seriously, I understand what you are saying. My husband will eat just about anything I put in front of him and he’s on board to eat better (and there are days he rebells more than our daughters, 15 and 12). One daughter leans towards healthier eating and then there are those days she begs for Taco Bell (yuck!). The other is sooooo picky I’m tweeking what everyone else is eating so she’ll find it acceptable! Yep, I give in to keep the chaos out! Our society places too much importance on the food we eat. We’re living to eat, instead of eating to live. Everything we do is based upon food. Then, there’s the marketers who bombard us with ‘this is so yummy, you gotta have it’ when it’s nothing more than the latest trendy toxic science experiment! Taste good doesn’t mean good for you! (a line my family rolls their eyes upon hearing! ;o)

    Keep up the good work of keeping us informed! Thank you.

    1. Post
      Author
      Millie

      Deb,
      Thank you for the kind words. I’ll tell you a secret, I don’t like Taco Bell (never have) but heard a commercial on the radio for the Dorito taco (or something like that) and HAD TO HAVE ONE. Yep, I fell for the marketers myself. I am sure it is even harder on my children. 🙁

  22. Danielle

    I love your honesty and attitude on this. It’s so easy to beat ourselves up over everything we think we should be doing. I recently learned that one of my favorite real food bloggers, whose weekly menu I have often coveted, has a food budget 3x more than mine…whew, that helped ease some of my real-food guilt!

    1. Post
      Author
      Millie

      Hi Danielle,

      3x more is considerable. It used to be so hard for me not to compare what we were doing with what others were doing (and sometimes still is) but I’m learning to embrace where we are. Our budget, our location, our lifestyle all figure into wht we are doing. And even our choices. While real food is extremely important to us, lots of other things are also important. It is certainly a balancing act.

  23. Kristi

    I loved this post! I’ve been on this journey for almost 2 years now and still haven’t tried sourdough bread. LOL I do make homemade using unbleached white flour. We just don’t eat as much as we used to. My son is ADHD so we stick to limited preservatives and no food coloring but we aren’t near to where I want to be. I have a 7 year old and a 20 month old and am pregnant with my third. I was so sick for about 2 months that my kids had pizza and fast food about 4 times a week. I felt so guilty. But I realize that things happen and we have to do the best we can. This week funds are extra tight and food had to be bought from Wal(ugh)Mart. I did the best I could and got mostly real foods, just not as good quality as usual. That’s ok. For my son’s birthday party he begged for a store cake. Complete with lots of food coloring. I gave in. He had a few hyper days and even he noticed the difference. But things are all back to normal now. I was so stressed about trying to do all this “perfectly” in the beginning that it was making me crazy. I’ve loosened up a lot and am much happier.
    Oh, and dh is totally on board with what is brought into the house. (Don’t ask about what he eats during lunches with the gus!) He’ll pick up something at the store and be so proud because it has all ingredients he can read. 🙂

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